COLUMN:Warming up your marriage for a sweeter life

Some of the most-asked questions of me concern relationships and, in particular, marriage.

  • Dec. 19, 2015 11:00 a.m.

by Dave Schapansky, Contributor

Some of the most-asked questions of me concern relationships and, in particular, marriage.

I think that folks in general do know that God has something better for them and they yearn for it, but it somehow escapes them.

After almost 40 years with my wife, Tammy, we can look back and see the times of desperation in our own relationship and we just couldn’t figure it out. But we were determined to learn.

Consider the honeycomb, and the early days of love in your marriage when the first few drops of sweetness flowed freely, but what then after that? The chill of time constraints, finances and parenting takes its toll.

And so begins the painful waiting game for the next drop of honey to fall.

So many give up waiting and think the honeycomb is dry, so they discard the marriage, yet they leave the bulk of the honey behind. Yet a good beekeeper knows the best yield of the honeycomb comes from the work of pressure and heat.

Maybe crank up the heat on your marriage, not by demanding what you want, but what you can do for your spouse.

I know that I can add 20 degrees C to our marriage just by putting down my cellphone and quickly responding to my wife’s simple household needs or conversation. Or would I rather continue the mindless scrolling of Facebook under an icy blast?

Every morning, each of us wakes up and turns up the heat in our homes. In the same way, perhaps we could consider ways to turn up the heat in our marriages. I am sure life would be a lot sweeter.

Dave Schapansky is a pastor at HillCity Church. You can reach him at daves@hillcity.ca